the Big Blue gets dinged!

What does one feel when something that was so expected to happen a certain way that it was almost taken for granted does not happen that way? Shocked? Stunned? Bamboozled??!! Ok ok i guess all of them mean the same thing but you get my drift, right? Thats pretty much what I was feeling this Monday morning. Why, you ask? Now thats a long story....
The Big Blue has many clients for which it provides IT services, one of which is the makers of the acclaimed PS2 which also happens to be the client I am working for. The client, with intention of keeping costs low and also competition and thus performance high, had engaged multiple vendors for handling its IT services in the US. Now BB (for Big Blue) got the grand idea that if all the vendors were to be shunted out and a single vendor was to get the consolidated project, wouldn't it be wonderful? And thus began the 'CONSOLIDATION' saga.... It all began when I was in India with constant upper level meetings and and the little news that trickled down to us kept us on our toes! Later when I got to the client location, things got hotter.
Going into the year-end holidays, everyone was on tenterhooks! There was one meeting that I clearly remember where my boss's boss's boss came over to talk to us and reassure us by talking about how confident they were of landing the deal. There even was talk about how when (there was never an 'if', always a 'when') we do land the deal, there will be a greater business opportunity when BB would try to leverage this deal for proposing other ideas like PS3 with BB chips, Vaios with BB software pre-loaded etc etc!! Man, were we excited by the prospects!! Reassured, everyone went into the holidays with a smile...
One week back into the office and one Monday morning, the bomb is dropped! BB (suddenly less of the Big Blue and seeming more like a Bombed Bimbette) has lost the bid and also all the chances of landing the multi-billion dollar 5-year deal!!!
So what does all this mean for me? Is it back to India? Another project? in US? No idea, frankly! We are still in an uncertain phase regarding the future plan and for now, I am taking one day at a time and concentrating on my 'other' plan. I was quite scared and worried but now I know that there is not much I can do until the picture becomes clearer, which probably would be later this week or the next... and until then I am keeping my peace. We will see what the future holds!